thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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