my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize