Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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