Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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