just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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