dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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