the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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