...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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