dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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