I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
as a side note pls kill me
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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