i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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