I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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