I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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