Whod you bang
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
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I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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