is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize