I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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