He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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