You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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