I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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