video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize