Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize