is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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