I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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