So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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