nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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