I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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