When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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