There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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