Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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