Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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