i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
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Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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