yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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