I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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