so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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