just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize