you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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