You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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