just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize