So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize