I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you would pick up someone in the library
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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