So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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