So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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