we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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