You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize