Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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