I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
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What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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