There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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