I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize