i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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