Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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