so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize